How to Address Anger in Your Student Athlete: A Guide for Parents

Managing emotions is an essential part of a young athlete's development. However, one of the hardest emotions to manage is anger. While it's natural for young athletes to feel frustrated or angry during competition or training, letting it go unchecked can be harmful.

The Importance of Addressing Anger Early

Anger can impact mental health, personal development, and athletic performance. For parents and coaches, it’s essential to recognize the signs early and address them constructively. Anger in student athletes often reflects underlying issues like stress, fear of failure, or pressure to perform. If left unaddressed, these emotions can escalate. Taking a proactive approach can help your athlete learn to manage their emotions healthily and develop coping skills that will benefit them on and off the field.

Here are some do’s and don’ts for addressing anger in your student-athlete, along with strategies for fostering emotional resilience and turning challenges into growth opportunities.

Anger in Young Athletes: The Do’s and Don’ts

The Do’s: Positive Strategies

1. Acknowledge Their Emotions
   When your athlete is upset, the first step is to validate their feelings. Let them know it’s okay to feel angry and that their emotions are understood. Saying something like, "I can see you're really frustrated right now, and that’s completely okay," shows support. This validation can help defuse the situation and open the door for further conversation.

2. Encourage Calm Communication
   Teach your young athlete to express what’s bothering them calmly and constructively. This might involve taking deep breaths, counting to ten, or using phrases like, "I feel upset because…" rather than reacting with an outburst. Model calm communication techniques and practice them together; it can make a big difference in how they respond during stressful moments.

3. Model Healthy Coping Skills
   Your own behavior plays a powerful role in shaping how your athlete manages their emotions. Show them how you handle frustration constructively, whether that’s by taking a walk, engaging in a hobby, or simply talking things out. This sets a strong example and provides practical strategies they can use when they feel overwhelmed.

4. Create a Safe Space for Discussion
   Let your athlete know they can talk about their emotions openly, without fear of judgment or punishment. Create an environment where they feel heard and respected, focusing on understanding and learning rather than reprimanding. This approach helps teach them that their emotions aren’t something to be ashamed of or to suppress.

The Don’ts: Mistakes to Avoid

1. Don’t Dismiss or Minimize Their Feelings
   Telling your athlete to "calm down" or that "it's not a big deal" can be dismissive, making them feel unheard. This approach often worsens the situation, leading to further frustration or anger. Instead, listen carefully and show empathy towards what they’re experiencing.

2. Don’t Punish Emotional Outbursts
   While it may be tempting to discipline your athlete for an outburst, this approach can be counterproductive. Instead of punishing, use these moments as opportunities to teach emotional regulation skills. Ask questions like, "What can we do differently next time you feel this way?" to help them reflect and learn.

3. Don’t Engage in Power Struggles
   When anger flares up, the last thing you want is to escalate the situation by responding with anger yourself. Power struggles can quickly derail any progress toward calming down and resolving the issue. Keep your emotions in check, focusing on finding solutions rather than “winning” the argument.

4. Don’t Ignore the Root Cause
   Anger is often a symptom of deeper concerns, whether it’s stress from school, anxiety about competition, or feeling misunderstood. Take the time to uncover what’s driving your athlete's anger and help them identify and address these underlying issues. By tackling root causes, you can prevent future emotional flare-ups and foster resilience.

The Role of Mental Performance Coaching
Addressing anger in young athletes isn’t just about calming them down in the moment—it’s about equipping them with the skills to manage stress in the future, face challenges head-on, and thrive in a competitive environment. Mental performance coaching offers targeted strategies that help student athletes turn specific anger problems into opportunities for growth.

A mental performance coach can provide individualized support and teach skills like emotional regulation, mindfulness, and mental resilience. Online sessions make it easy to access expert guidance without disrupting busy schedules.

Take the Next Step
If you’re looking for ways to help your student-athlete manage anger and build mental toughness, consider signing up for online sessions with a mental performance coach. An expert can guide them through practical techniques for managing emotions, overcoming setbacks, and staying focused on their goals. Investing in your young athlete’s mental game is just as important as physical training.

Set up a free consultation call or explore our programs.